Our first 2000 days in the world take us up to 5 years old. These days are integral for shaping our sense of self, our sense of safety, our sense of worthiness led by how our nervous system interprets and lays down patterns of what is felt within and out of our conscious awareness. All underpinned by our unique biology -no brain is the same.
While such beautiful complexity is being created we are also incredibly inquisitive. Between the ages of 2-5 we ask approximately 40,000 questions of why. We are learning and framing the world around us. Why is the sky blue? Why do we have to hurry? Why do birds fly? Why are we going to the shops? Of course this process takes up considerable energy because we are building out neuronal connections, growing mentally, physically and emotionally. Keeping in mind, at this tender age, we have no way of knowing if what we are learning and sensing is positive, negative, nourishing or unhealthy. It simply is our individual lived experience.
Many years ago, for one reason or another, I found myself at one of the very big theme parks in Florida, America. It was opening time and the national anthem started playing. Everyone stopped and stood to attention. Not one person could tell me why this was happening. I found it really odd and I felt really uncomfortable. If only humans maintained the same intense ability throughout life to notice and to ask why, not only for surface level understanding but in relation to emotional and somatic awareness. But the western world has collectively failed at empowering us all to ask and understand ‘why’ in relation to the body, brain & planet interactions and communications. This approach suits an exceptionally small minority who are power and money obsessed.
To reiterate in the short term it is not necessarily energy efficient to ask why but yet paradoxically if we consistently fail to explore the bigger picture and the longterm we all lose. Surely to utilise our ‘real intelligence’ we have to consciously override the short-termist approach. Real growth and change comes from asking why, being curious with who we are, our purpose and why we behave in certain ways. This requires bravery, empathy and vulnerability. This not only takes energy but also time. Furthermore it is made even harder when the world we now inhabit is dominated by:
Artificial food
Artificial beauty
Artificial connection
Artificial intelligence
Artificial misinformation
Artificial marketing
The body and our mental wellness will show if we are ignoring our true sense of self. For example- where is your nervous system spending much its time? Is it in functional freeze or a dissociative, depressive, anxious or angry state? If yes, start with gently asking why? Dare to get curious with the world around you, your past, your present, your future. Why do I really feel like this? What do I need? What happened to me? Who makes me feel safe, truly safe in a psychological and physical sense?
We do have a choice to make this a fairer and better world. Although key patterns are established during those first 2000 days, the nervous system is not fixed, it is more than capable of establishing new, healthier patterns.
But, above all try be kind to yourself. Admittedly that is not easy but we can keep trying.
This is such an immense challenge in the world today. I wonder how much struggle my neurodivergency would bring if I was living in it a few decades ago. I don't it would ever be easy, but the amount of gymnastics I have to do just to eat for my brain and be kind to my dopamine receptors... Some days, it's exhausting. Somedays I just wish I could not worry that a lighter job with less pay wouldn't allow me to eat well. Or that everytime I touch my phone it is an active weapon against my brain. Or that the constant access to global information makes me anxious about so much I can't control.